Christmas holds a very special place in my heart. First, because it’s the time of year where I celebrate the birth of my Savior who has defined my life and how I live and who I try to keep at the center of everything I am. When thinking about this season, Relient K couldn’t have said it better than in these lyrics, “And the first time that you opened your eyes, did you realize that You would be my Savior? And the first breath that left your lips did you know that it would change this world forever? ….. I celebrate the day, that you were born to die, so one day I could pray for You to save my life.”
Really think on what that means. Knowing God sent His one and only son to be born, knowing the horrible death He would endure… For us. He was born to die for you, and for me. Nothing else is more beautiful than that. I think on this truth when I look at the beautiful lights, our tree, when I smell the cold air, and drink my cocoa. Even still, there is nothing more beautiful.
The second greatest reason I am thankful for the Christmas season is because in a couple weeks it will be 6 years since my husband proposed to me. Six years ago he chose me. He chose me with my imperfections, my insecurities; a girl in her early 20’s who truly believed she would never find someone to love her.
But, Daniel did. There are still many days I ask God why. God, why would You choose me, why would Daniel choose me??? Each time I get to this point, God and Daniel, even though they see the real, imperfect, flawed, ME- gently remind me that I am loved, treasured and beautiful. Each time this happens I wonder why I’m so blessed to hear these truths despite doubts and past hurts. I don’t really know the answer for this, but I do know I don’t take this unconditional love for granted.
So- back to this letter I want to write! 🙂 This Christmas season I have tried to plan out some special ways to honor my husband and all that he means to me. One of these things is a “shout to the world letter” of how amazing he is. And no, It’s not because he’s perfect, or is a natural romantic, or an out of the movies kind of guy. (Although I will say he has come along way and recognizes my need for this sometimes, but that’s not why at all.) Daniel from the night he proposed on Christmas Eve has been used by God to redeem back so many things in my life and the life of my family that I never knew possible. Christmas Eve used to be hard for us, as it represented the marriage of my mom and my last step-dad. A man who hurt us deeper than you could imagine through constant lies and ruining my trust in men. Daniel redeemed back this day to represent joy and hopeful expectation of something different. Since then God has used him in my life to make me better, to break down my walls of hurt and trust issues and insecurities and to love me and see me as God sees me. The beautiful gift that is, there are truly no words for. 
In stating these things- I also want to make something clear, we aren’t some perfect couple who has it all together, so please don’t take my post as such. In fact our marriage started off really rocky. We learned a lot about forgiveness and each other that first year. Both of us had a lot to learn, but we never gave up and kept clinging to God and each other and had amazing friends and support to help us through. We still have our days, after all marriage is NOT easy. It’s the choice to love an imperfect person who will at some point hurt you, and even when things are tough you choose to love them EVERY SINGLE DAY. We are both first born, strong-willed individuals and I can assure you that we can be short with one another, selfish, and not communicate well- but the beauty of it all is we have grown and learned together and we love each other imperfections and all. Our marriage has been a true picture of God’s love for me even though I am not perfect and fail daily. With all of these thoughts and our background, I posted my letter below.
Daniel James,
Writing a letter to you is near impossible because there is so much I want to say and there just aren’t words for everything I would like to express. You are the man God has used to change my life- to make me stronger, more confident, and more trusting of others. You are the man I couldn’t imagine my life without. Who brings me joy and sanity on those days I feel like I could lose my mind. You are the man I want to face tough days with and to hold every night. You are the man I want to be joyful with and content even when our cars are falling apart and our budget is tight, on the good days and on the bad- you make me feel like the most blessed and happy woman in the world that I have you. I’m so thankful that you choose to come home to our growing, crazy little family every night! To a messy house, and often teary, hormonal pregnant wife and still proclaim how blessed you are. You are the man I want to raise our babies with and who has truly taught me about what being a father means in watching you love our girls the way they deserve to be loved and treated. I know our son is going to have the best example to truly teach him about what being a man means. Thank you for redeeming so many areas of my life that I thought were lost and gone forever. For following after God with your heart, soul, and mind so that He could use you in my life to push me closer to Him. Thank you for choosing to be a man of integrity each day, and for being the man of God I always knew you could be- maybe even before you knew it yourself. 🙂
As Christmas Eve is approaching, I have a question for you. Will you be our date after the Christmas Eve service? I know a special little place where everything started, and bringing our two beautiful girls and our growing baby boy along would be incredibly special. Also, Will you still be my husband always and forever, every day for however many days we have on this earth? I love you sweetheart. Thank you for everything!
Your wife
redeemingjoy 